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I'm middle aged

Background: I'm middle aged, healthy with no hormonal imbalances along with non theist. I have reasonable self esteem. I'm not depressed (have been just before, so I know the difference.) I have found Cheap Timberlands Uk my overwhelming emotions produce my life unpleasant. This is not completely new. It's always been this way. I conducted cognitive behaviour therapy , productively I believe. I understand about programmed negative self talk and so on. Yes, I've been to psychiatrists   they seem to think I'm fine.
Most of the time, my rational aspect which is saying, "okay, you're angry about this, but it's no big deal" can't win over my psychological side which is saying "oh the almighty, it hurts, make it prevent." I find myself cannot focus on my tasks, although I'm successful in never thinking about the event that brought on these feelings. Sometimes, I feel hence bad, I want to be tired. Even after I've resolved the challenge successfully, I have this soccer ball of anxiety in my stomach.
In general, this battle remains bodily. Colleagues and family normally have no idea that I'm devastated. Nevertheless it affects my life in that I would not really want to involve myself around activities that involve other people due to risk I (my inner thoughts) will be hurt. I also keep away from (necessary) conflict and when I do engage, my internal reaction is often disproportionate to the make a difference.
Some things that upset me include a mildly negative review of my personal work, being misunderstood in a conversation, the potentiality for making some other person upset, people on askme contacting me unkind things. I know it is really ridiculous. I know I'm acting like a special little snowflake. I'm sure everybody deals with disappointment as well as disapproval on a daily basis without freaking out. I'd rather not be like this. I want to manage to shrug off these things, that you do. I don't want to care. I'd personally rather not use drugs, if there is any alternative.
Help me stop experience so much. If I can't cease it, how can I make it a lesser amount of intrusive?
posted by nameless to Human Relations (21 replies total) 40 users noted this as a favorite
I'm sure it's ridiculous. I know I'm just acting like a special tiny snowflake. I know everybody deals with frustration and disapproval on a daily basis without losing it.
There's a lot to talk about here, and that i trust others will be in in the near future with good general advice.
I would personally just like to point out that if you keep kicking yourself for feeling bad, it's going to keep causing you to feel worse. Annoying mainly because it sounds, the first step out of this blunder might involve learning to attest you're in it.
posted by way of nebulawindphone at 9:50 Pm hours on March 17, 2009
I know it's Nike Free Run 3 Womens Nz ridiculous. I'm sure I'm acting like a specific little snowflake. I know everybody deals with disappointment and disapproval on a daily basis without having freaking out.
Well, being self applied aware is a good step to addressing the issue. A few ideas:
When you find yourself falling into that cycle of thinking try to change your immediate environment. Go for a walk, step Louis Vuitton Sunglasses Nz out for some fresh air, escape from your desk, or computer screen, and also office for a few minutes. Go for a drive. I think you may find that will as you change your surroundings Michael Kors Wallet Nz all your other concerns will change too. Suddenly no matter what it was that you were fretting Cheap Oakley Sunglasses about doesn't seem like a real big deal when you're able to stroll via a park, or whatever.
Furthermore, continue to pursue professional help. It sounds like you've been doing this for a while. If this really is while big of a deal while you make it out to be I might be very up front together with my therapist about it. Walk in and say, "Look, I'm sure we've been talking about this and that, but this is the big deal that is cripling my well being right this moment." Make it clear that is a real problem and they will help you to address it.
I'm sorry I can't offer my precise advice. Good luck!
posted by means of wfrgms at 10:02 Pm on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
I definitely feel the same way from time to time. My theory is that it is a result of growing up in a family in which I was actively discouraged from expressing any negative feelings   the previous "stop crying or I'll supply you with something Nike Free Trail 5.0 to cry about!Inches school of child rearing. Element of me still feels like negativity are inherently dangerous and will hurt me somehow. Also i didn't learn a whole lot of self calming techniques.
I'm trying hard to learn that possessing negative feelings isn't me becoming bad   everyone gets grumpy or irritated or unfortunate. Instead of freaking out and trying to help deny them, or sensation like being sad will make me die, I'm learning how to go along with them and launch them. Releasing them differs from bottling them up and wishing they'll go away. CBT is great for blocking instances of irrational anger or perhaps anxiety, but if your therapists haven't been helping you learn how to work through bad feelings (rather than preventing all of them in the first place,) it's time to find someone who can.
Deep breathing, meditation, and healthy aerobic exercise help. Writing them down does not help me; I am a brooder, and writing just makes me brood more. Studying programs for people who have anger operations problems Nike Janoski Air Max Nz or panic attacks continues to be helpful.
posted by freshwater_pr0n on 10:07 PM for March 17, 2008 [5 favorites]
a person describe your battle seeing that internal. I believe this is a oversight. The feelings you don't let out avoid getting out, or get out by way of some nasty physiological dilemma. It sounds to me like you will be dealing with a build up of modest annoyances and disappointments with time which you never let out, now events you don't intellectually consider way too major are throwing your thoughts for a loop because of the pounds it's already Dr Dre Beats Pro Nz carrying.
While something bugs you tell your friends and relations. You may fear boring as well as annoying them and that's extensive of you, but just a comment permit them know what you're feeling probably will help a great deal. EVen though there may be nothing they can do, In my opinion the act of expressing your challenges to them will relieve a terrific burden.
posted by oblio_one in 10:16 PM with March 17, 2008
I feel you might want to look into the concept of as a so called "". Perhaps once you learn more to do with that concept you will view your situation as something other than an issue.
posted by fuse theorem on 10:23 PM about March 17, 2008
Your current description of yourself sounds familiar to me. I used to feel some tips i described as "sensory overload" in terms of emotions. Anti- anxiety medication helps us immensely. I just started that 3 months ago, and I can not believe the difference. It doesn't cease me from feeling, it stops the runaway "Oh gawd, I won't handle this" crap, and it let us me focus and acquire perspective.
posted by amyms from 10:53 PM upon March 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
Typical vigorous exercise often will help tremendously in managing anxiety and strong emotions.
I know that you are really reluctant to take medicine but if you've been working on that your whole life and talk therapy isn't helping, you very well may just be one of those people that demands medication to balance out its brain chemistry. Since perhaps the most common complaint of people on anti depressants, anti anxiety meds, and many others. is that they can't feel sensations anymore, that might be just what you are considering.
  
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